Yesterday with Francis Kong

Aethen, salamat sa pag tag mo sakin yesterday bro. The game was some kind of helpful kahit na game lang yun. It made me discover a bit more of myself.

Danica, "meconium stained" pala tawag sa condition ng niece ko. Thanks so much for the information most especially for helping us pray. Salamat sa pag answer mo ng game na "6 weird things about me."

It feels great, by God's grace, that everything turns to be alright even we're hard up financially these days. Hindi pa na pirmahan yung payroll nila Nanay. Si kuya ala pang sweldo. Anyway, pera lang naman yan eh. Importante, everybody's alright and the family's still muddling through kahit mahirap. Well, ganyan talaga ang buhay.

Me and my mom were in Bacolod City yesterday. Lolo (grandfather) Noning invited us to attend a seminar sponsored by the Fellowship of Christians in the Governement (FOCIG) at the Grand Regal Hotel, Bacolod City. He shouldered our registration (Thanks a lot, Lo).

On our way, I talked to Nanay how having my niche as a blogger in the triple W made me a much better individual. I have a venue to talk to bunch of bloggers who are really smart, accomodating and amicable may it be young people or those in mid-life. I also told her that this could also give me a good opportunity to make money later on. And she answered that it is really worth having broadband connection at home.

Exactly, nay. Thanks to you and to my elder bro who pays the 999Php every month. Don't worry, i'll help out if hired in the job.

At the seminar, i was overwhelmed with the chance since that was the very first time i listened to a world-class inspirational speaker and a God-fearing and very sincere author of 11 life-changing books as "The Early Bird Catches the Worm" and "One Day at a Time", Mr. Francis J. Kong.

Mr. Kong (www.businessmatters.org) tackled "Life's Winning Points" in the seminar. Let me share those with you.

1. Get a calculator and learn how to count.
I plead guilty about this because I, myself, don't know how to count - count the good things in life. I often get engrossed to counting criticisms and negative others in my life which are really not worthy of my time and it will only make me miserable. We got to learn how to count as the hymn sings, "Count your blessings, name them one by one." That makes life the happiest.

2. Enjoy the mid-life.
Though i'm not yet in that stage, i got to prepare myself for the mid-life worries and setbacks. Will you?

3. Enjoy your greatest rewards with your family.
We always got to remember that our family should be next to our God.

4. Feed your mind with good thoughts.
Avoid mind poisoning.

5. Be kind to people.
Always wear the smile. I often reiterate the quote "the difference between a good and bad day is your attitude."

6. Be a teamplayer.
No man is an island. Tie up with people who can help you through tough times.

7. Fly high and know where to land.
There have been people who told us "Fly high and reach for your dreams." But how do we land? Where will we land?

I hope it helped you, somehow.

The seminar ended with a book sale and book signing by Mr. Francis. Lolo bought "One day at a time" book 4. He said, he'll just let me borrow after him because we didn't have enough money to buy another one. lol It's better, isn't it?

Nanay, Lolo and I went home with new hopes. Blessed to be exact.

Sana magagawa kong habits ang mga winning points na yun. Kaw rin ha?

Why haven't i realized this earlier?

Kumusta po kayo?

Thanks po sa lahat na nag cmment sa mga nakaraang posts. Mas nararamdaman ko po na I am really blogging dahil sa interaction between you and sa mga posts ko and it really feels good.

You know, i slept late last night or i mean, just this morning at 2:00am. I was bothered with random thoughts that kept on bungling my mind and just made me twist and turn my up, side and down on my bed. There was the PBB fever where Wendy Valdez seemed to have this aura that pushed me to publish 3 posts about her in my friendster blog in just 2 days. The childhood memories and adolescent embarassing moments also went back to my poor self-esteem ditch. Also my father, who's history already. But there was this thought that popped up in my shell that really dimmed my eyes with tears.

For several times in my 20 years of living in this planet (il be 21 by October 1) i can still recall many unpleasant moments with my mom (well it's after the death of my pap). I mean, we had lots of arguments on principles, ideas, plans, some important, some baloney - mostly happened when I was still in college when we were talking about programs for the students (she's the student affairs head and I was a president of one organization). I often raised my voice in our quarrels as if I was right, often used biting remarks as if I was correct, used God damn it gestures as if I was superior and i know it all. But i witnessed, personally, that almost everything (if not completely) which she told me were all true, were all the right choices, were all the right verdicts.

I admit, it was just this morning when i realized that i have been so egotistic and self-centered, selfish to be exact and I never ever thought of my mother's part. What does she feel when I did that? How does she cope up with me being so stubborn? Where and from whom does she get her strength back mulling over the fact that father died and she's a single parent? I think i should be cursed! I know that being a single parent is freaking difficult and I am still doing it! Damn you Quincy!

Anyway, i know it doesn't end here. I still got a lot of chances because I believe my God is a God full of second chances.

Now, i'm just left with a question, why haven't i realized this earlier?

Joint efforts to care for those in need

Hi po sa lahat ng bumibisita sa blog ko at angbabasa ng entries ko kahit na medyo stupido. Nakakataba po kayo ng puso.

Mayron po akong kuwentong isi-share sa inyo. Mejo mahaba po pero siguro its worth your time naman po. Nagsimula po ang estorya noong January 2007.

Eto po yun. While some people enjoy the bounty and luxury of life, this family residing at Uriarte Subdivision in La Carlota City seems hopelessly deprived of the good things in life.

This family is composed of an 80-year old lady, Fortunata Bayog and her grand-daughter Joanabel Bayog, 14 years old, mentally ill and extremely undernourished, who was abandoned by her mother when she was only one year old.

The breadwinner is Fortunata's son, called "Baruk" (because his brother was a.k.a. "Tarzan"). He is in his mid-40s, unemployed and accepts part-time, menial jobs. The other children of Fortunata have gone to other places and might have their own family now.

Close to her mother, Baruk, could not afford to leave Fortunata in her present state. He opted to remain single. "Mabudlay pa kon magpangasawa ako sa amon situasyon subong," (Mas magiging mahirap kung mag-aasawa pa ko sa sitwasyon namin ngayon) he says sadly with tears dimming his eyes. His meager income from the odd jobs he has could hardly suffice for their food every day.

This kindness inherent among Filipinos reminds us that life is still beautiful in this wide world.

The miserable plight of the family came to the attention of the Peer Counselors' Society (Isang peer helping organization po sa alma mater ko where i was a member). With the help of the incumbent president of M.O.R. Kaberks organization, Alberto Carbajusa (he happens to be my pal) and the College Voice (student publication ng alma mater ko), these organizations visited the hovel where the Bayogs lived. They took pictures of the family members, interviewed Baruk and their neighbors. Then, they sent a letter with the pictures seeking for assistance to ABS-CBN TV 4 - Negros, Lingkod Kapamilya office, in Bacolod City.

Soon after, the news team headed by Mitch Lipa, TV Patrol newscaster and reporter, went to La Carlota to document the family's dire situation. The team was accompanied by Vice-Mayor Demi John Honrado (now mayor of the city) and city administrator Homer Bermudo. "We will see to it that DSWD will provide assistance to the family," assured the vice mayor.

Unfortunately, after the story was flashed on tv screens, Fortunata passed away due to acute cardio pulmonary arrest. The City Government of La Carlota and barangay officials shouldered the family's burial expenses. Joanabel was given a wheelchair and was sent to her mother in Bicol. But sadly an information reached us that she had a fatal heart attack in Manila.

Despite the death that claimed the lives of two persons, the PCS, CV, M.O.R. Kaberks and ABS-CBN feel a sense of fulfillment to have given time and effort in making the Bayogs feel that people care in the worst moment of their lives.

Gusto ko pong sabihin na this kindness inherent among Filipinos reminds us that life is still beautiful in this wide world.

Salamat po sa pagbasa ninyo. :)

Stupid day start

I don't know.

Yesterday was absolutely a fulfilled day. I accomplished things i needed to accomplish. I was able to send the letter to a national high school where we will have a research on adolescent reproductive health and i believe that they'll be positive about it. I was able to proofread and edit the summer publication of our school and hopefully be finalized today. I was able to went home safe and sound with a smiling welcome from my mom and a big laugh from my home buds.

I just woke up this morning thinking i'm alright, that all is well, there's so much to laugh and smile of when i step out the walls of my room. I thought all will be just fine.

But why did it came the other way around?

I know, the difference between a bad and good day is the attitude but i just can't have control over my attitude right now. I asked my mom if what's the schedule of classes of the former president of the student government of my school, but she didn't know. Then, she asked why, telling me to answer fast coz she's a bit late from her classes but still she wanted to know the reason why so she can help me out.

But i was yet a bit hanging over from the shock caused by the transmission from my dreams to reality and i just can't get the right answer fast and i was darn screwed up. So when i was able to adjust i told her its because we have a project and i wanted to request him to visit the city health office to ask for some reproductive health related records (with stupid gestures, obviously upset).

My mom, thinking i am pissed with my responsibilities from a youth group, told me to get out of it for now because i seemed uninterested and unhappy about it. But there i answered back with a loud voice and wrong gestures as if i'm talking to a dog, "I am interested!" (Am I really?)

Probably, my mom went disrupted because after she talked with me, there was a complaint from the neighborhood against our helper which i don't know why. Two arguments in a row? Goodness! Shut the tooot up!

Good thing i'm relieved just posting it here. But how about my mom? S"""

Man! i always wished for a life rewind!

Pasalamat Festival '07: No less than spectacular

The Pasalamat Festival ’07 is an event hard to erase in the minds of the Mangkasanons and to the thousands of visitors who trooped to the city of La Carlota in Negros Occidental to witness the mega celebration.

Inday Kitchie Benedicto, a well-known and veteran tv producer in Metro Manila, and yes, she happens to be the doting mother-in-law of our mayor and now congressman Jeffrey Ferrer, made this hard-to-match festival a reality in the city.

As usual, there was a galore of show biz luminaries who graced the occasion, especially the Pasalamat Beauty Search held at the public plaza. The pageant has no less than the hottest reel and real love team of Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo as emcees. Hard to believe, but they appeared lived on stage, a dream turned reality to many fans who only saw them in their tv screens.

The crowd was in frenzy when drop dead handsome, Sam Milby, current heartthrob of countless women and he-women appeared on stage and serenaded the beauty contestants. Sam Milby, in flesh and bones, showing his irresistible dimples and tantalizing eyes. Many girls almost fainted with ecstasy when Sam shook hands with them. “Sam, oh, Sam, pakiss naman o”, begged a fan.
Another superb performance was that of chanteuse Sarah Geronimo. Glittering in her pink get up, Sara mesmerized the crowd with her marvelous voice hard to match by other singers of her genre. Young, energetic, and attractive, Sara proved she’s a real performer as she belts out song after song.

As usual, the overall production is something not seen in the whole of Negros. All the sophisticated equipment were transported from Manila and turning the public plaza into a giant tv studio with all the crane camera, lighting and computerized special effects. Joe Tecson, the stage designer, is acclaimed one of the best in the industry.

All these dazzling presentations can only be seen in La Carlota City Pasalamat Festival. Indeed our city mayor's words are true, "Let's go La Carlota!" Thanks to the creative minds behind it headed by forever youthful Inday Kitchie whose resources were unlimited and to all the city officials who jointly worked hard to make the grand presentation a reality to the people of the city.

*I just thought of boosting my beloved city's style at the same time giving thanks to our city mayor, now congressman, Jeffrey Ferrer and KB Productions, Manila.

The unsung heroes of Election Day

Observers say that the recent election in the country is one of the most controversial marred with massive cheating and scores of political killings.

But if there are people who are exposed to so much risk and really sacrifice a lot in doing their back breaking assignments – they are the teachers.

Every three years, the teachers are compelled to do their tasks as they troop to the precincts and assist millions of Filipinos in casting their vote. They make sure that the voting procedures are properly followed.

Making it harder is when the night comes. They buckle up for the manual counting of the votes, a primitively tedious process that generally lasts long into the night.

All throughout that long day and night, the teachers will have to contend with the many dangers of a Philippine election. Look at the death of teacher Nellie Banaag of the Pinagbayanan Elem. School in Taysan, Batangas. The potential of harassment, violence and even death is still very much part of our ancient electoral process.

Aside from physical harm, our teachers are also putting their reputation at stake every time they go on poll duty because they are the ones who count the ballots. Even when desperate politicians resort to accusing teachers of cheating, effectively calling them crooks and liars, they unmindfully return to their posts every three years.

It can’t be money, because all teachers get from election duty is a measly allowance. It can’t be fame or glory. After all, this is a thankless job, one that the public is mostly unaware of, one that the winners simply forget after being proclaimed, and one that the losers use as a convenient scapegoat as they scream about being robbed.

All it can be is a deep sense of duty that turns ordinary people into heroes, something that we should, at the least, recognize and be thankful for.

My Mentor's nth Note

June 22, 2007

Quincy,

You may now get your Civil Service eligibility papers in the CSC Office, Bacolod City. I passed by the said office today and they said, you may get it now.
All things seem to work well to your advantage if it is God's will.
Good luck!

Ma'am LD

Thank God, i am already a professional civil service eligible! Yeah!

I got this note when i arrived home yesterday from my Alma Mater. It's written on a piece of white thin notepad (as it has always been) and with a very familiar penmaship. It was from my mentor who has been there helping me out through the tough times most especially when i was still in college.

Well, she's a retired Chief Parole and Probation Officer III at the RTC Branch 63 and since she's "retired but not yet tired," she applied at the city college as Guidance Coordinator for the meantime. Duirng her term (where i started receiving notes written in notepads from her), goodness, everything went smooth for the counselors and the peer facilitators. She was so organized, everything had a structure, first-things-first-or-i'll-kick-your-ass pattern.
Surely, i learned vast priceless lessons from her.

Now, that i am a graduate (with a Prof CSE credential) and searching for a fair job while reviewing for the teachers' board exam on the 26th of August this year, she is still there helping me out and my family is overwhelmed about that.

Just this June she heard that there is a vacancy at the MTC in our city so immediately she went to our and let me know about the job opportunity (through a note) and told me to make the application letter fast, process the requirements, furnish copies and sent it at the office.

Wait, she still went back to our residence the next day. I didn't know why not until she handed my rough draft of a letter written in a piece of yellow pad (with a note again, telling me to encode and print the letter). I read it and, oh my God, it was a letter asking for an endorsement from the Presidential Action Center in Manila.

Why? Because she knew that the vacancy is a very good position, a national office (sky-is-the-limit benefits) thus attractive, and so the people will really find ways, find backers (who are politicians of course) in order to get the job and i don't have one. I don't have close relatives and influential connections in the local office who can pressure the person vested with a recommending or appointing power for the said position.

I'm not bragging but who would topple me if my application is attached with the a presidential endorsement? No other, i think.

My mentor already helped two job applicants get endorsement from the PAC and all went successful. I hope in my time, it would turn out to be like that, too. Maybe not. But i'm still praying for it and i am optimistic. It has only been a week since i sent the letter.

If "A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step," ma'am LD helped me launch the first step through her nth note.

I would thank many people from bottom of my heart, but to her my heart is BOTTOMLESS!

Getting Marveled by Marvel

After the web-fever, darn the rise of the silver surfer! It's making me hooked back to superheroes.

Well, I just watched it yesterday and now i'm browsing the web everything about the whole stuff.

Struck by the movie?

Obviously!

It was awesome.

Good thing i was refunded by a compromised payment for a project months past so it gave me enough to spend a little for the movie while waiting for the clock to tick 2:00 PM (I got a publication business.)

The movie is a whole lot better than the former shortchanged part. I loved the twists and the new features, the events, the script. Package deal.

I'm more engrossed to Jessica Alba this time especially when she uttered the "I'm getting hot for you" compliment for Reed. Man! She is darn beautiful and gorgeous. Reed's words are definitely true, "I am getting married to the hottest woman in the planet" when he was demanding due respect from the freaking unwise general.

I was surprised with the human torch twist, imitating powers and abilities and also how they maximized the funny, reckless and arrogant Johnny Storm in the movie. He was given fair importance. And Chris Evans? He's amazing.

Alicia's words in the flick were inspiring. Funny, I was rebuked while watching alone.

Silver surfer's Voice by Laurence Fishburne and the motion capture by LDoug Jones, it was fantastic.

Loved the Wall of China and London Eye scenes.

The fusIon of the four powers made me drop my jaw. It was really cool.

I pity Doctor Doom, he's back (i don't know how and why) but he just got a short time savoring the silver surfboard ride.

Hmm, i wonder if I can also hasten my future wedding ceremony to get to the kiss fast.

After spiderman's "we always have a choice and we can always choose to do what is right," here goes the surfer's "we always have a choice" with a deep brawny voice.

Oh well, I'm really marveled by Marvel. It's a must-see movie.

my Father's 6th Death Anniversary

"I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started and to where I stand right now."

Yesterday, June 16, 2007. It was tatay's 6th death anniversary.

Everything seemed normal. No retreats. No recollection of memories. No tears.

But i know, every member of the family stole sometime to bring back tatay in their thoughts, reflect and gather strength once again from his teachings, rebukes, discipline, his down to earth lifestyle and his brave principles to help us continue muddling through life ahead.

Recalling the time when i witnessed him suffering hard because of the excruciating pain he met upon stepping from a shriveled Santol tree branch and falling from about 25 - 30 feet high and slamming his body right sideway like bomb on our cemented pathwalk in front of the house and saw the people who held him up, i can't help but brim my eyes with tears.

After that fall, everything seemed to be so unexplainable - enigmatice to be exact. How our world crashed down to sudden pandemonium, how the people reacted with scare and sobs, how my younger brother broke out from his reserved and silent persona and clouted our wall and threw the plastic chairs in the sala banging the tv screen - all were darn confusing, a nightmare. I thought it was doomsday. Scary.

Much more when tita Daday (tatay's elder sister) arrived at our house at about 10PM and announced - Tatay died at early 40's, around 9PM of June 16, 2001, Riverside Hospital, Bacolod City.

Though our life blunted in color for a couple of weeks, and though my siblings and I were yet young, the hopes, our faith in God, our dreams are still there, intact, unstained with the blood tatay shed, leaving us, It is because we know and I know, that he died thinking of us - nanay, manong, panggoy and yan-yan.

I am also rest assured that right now, in heaven, he uses the pen of silver ink as he continues to write more literary pieces to express her intense emotions and to inspire, build more houses with his hammer of gold for protection and shelter and teach more students through his stick of garnet enjoying every moment of eternal life with the Saviour.

And now that i am already a graduate in college, striving to help lift my family spiritually and financially, I carry the lyrics of tatay's songs, the verses of his poems, and the scenes of his stories to be steadfast still on where i stand because of him and to finish what i have started through him.

Happy Father's Day tay.

My First Crush and our Billet-doux Writing History

If there would be few living homo sapiens in this dark world who surely had a great impact in my borrowed wonderful, colorful and beautiful life, one would be the girl who was my super-duper sumnambulistic crush back when we were still in Grade I. lol

My mother often made me remember what i told her when i got home one afternoon from school. She said that i was really persistent that the girl with the smooth fair cheeks, with pretty lips and a cute nose and nice straight hair was my crush and that i really insisted much more when she was telling me i just like her. "Yes nay, i like her, that means, she's my crush. ok? peace!" lol

Well, that girl i often call "'day" is artistic in nature, smart, can attract all honeybees with her sweetness and knows the best friendship strategies...well, except for one girl during elementary years. hehe i don't know what happened between them that time but i observed "'day" was really srewed with that white and tall lassie. I even witnessed and heard her backbite the "chinita" miss.

But, anyway, they're in good terms now. i don't think " 'day " would foster a warfreak personality get up. No. Not in trillion years.:)

Still, we were classmates reaching Grade IV and there started (as far as i can remember) one of the most phenomenal events that ever happened in my 20 years of living this life - EXCHANGING OF puppy, romantic, kept-to-the-limit LOVE LETTERS using a state of the art and priceless medium of delivery - her close friends, Vic-vic and later turned out to be Divine when we reached the last level in primary school.

" 'day " started this and there i learned i was also her crush. hahaha oh man!

I seemed really deeply, truly and madly (childishly) "in-love" reading her letters. It always made me wear big, wide smiles walking homebound. Only weird thing is, we didn't talk in person, we avoided each other. lol

Man! Funny those emotions of one elementary school cherub. lol

The top-secret personal events of my unintended innocence back then are still fresh as i recall the times when I was really excited to receive another letter from her and that i can respond again. While we got loads of assignments every night , my love letter writing delights always buzz in and that gave me all the urges to finish my response first before my homeworks. But honestly, i often ignored my assignments and just focus on the love letters. lol And hey, it wasn't that easy at all. I was at a loss of words with " 'day's " cool writing prowess and her choice of words and her conjugation of it (though in early age). Besides, indeed, i found it hard hiding myself in the room while i was writing my replies in a piece of note pad torn from my spring lecture notebook (i didn't have nicely textured fragrant paper pads for love letters that time.hehe)while i was doing my very best to keep it in wide book pages and be vigilant because if somebody would enter the room, i got to be alert to turn the pages of the book, covering what i was writing, and pretend i was reading. whew! i admit, i was sweating then. lol

These only ended when we were already in 1st or 2nd year high, i guess. It was my birthday and she gave me another letter (through a friend, still). This time, its not like the usual as a nice peace of paper oftenly folded they call "i love you" fold. It was wrapped, rectangular. I opened it at home and it was stunning, made me shake! lol It was the biggest love letter i have have ever received! It was the size of a Transcor Motors wall calendar. She wrote all her favorite songs and dedicated it to me. (romantic, isn't it? lol)

Bad thing, i never replied. I thought she was really questioning then. (sorry day...lol)

Later during high school i was thankful the puerile "avoiding game" ended and we enjoyed each other's company till high school grad - not as having a crush with each other but as friends. and she just became one of the best buds God gave. her influence, her friendship, her sweetness, her compassion, her love and her fear in God - all packed in one lovely lad. Thank God for her. Even though we were not in the same school in college. I can always recall the things she told me and the precious time we shared.

And the sad part of everything? she told me one day that her letters were stolen from her cabinet and all are gone. But i don't know if she already knew that her letters were also stolen from my cabinet too. Not with a homo sapien but with the darn termites! and all are gone.

Anyway, " 'day " (a nursing graduate at this time) and I just laugh over it everytime we talk about that billet-doux history.

A Girl Friend

Wednesday, 6 June, 2007

It wasn't in my billion, trillion thoughts that i am able to make addictive YM talks up to the wee hours of the morning since i learned how to use that state of the art global messenger. it only started when this girl friend from my darn stupid highschool years posted a bulletin that she has been often online for a week and is searching for somebody to talk to, whom she can lift up or piss off.

We knew each other during 1st year high school. yah, we just knew each other by name but, as far as i can remember, i didn't had good talks with her, didn't even give her good company until she left our class after 2nd year high. I admit, i was insensitive about my classmates' whereabouts that time so i didn't notice her graceful exit from our high school with a long mouthful name - doña hortencia salas benedicto national high school.

She told me she transferred coz primarily it seemed difficult for their family situation. besides, there was a petty crash in their clique and well, sought for other company.

but anyway, she's doin great now. she just graduated BS Biology at University of St. La Salle - Bacolod and she's grabbing a good chance in her life in _____________ this year trying to pursue ____________. (she told me not to tell anybody about it at this time. but i don't know why, he put the "medschool" experience in her blog. hmmm.. witch, try to be consistent. lol ;) )

I confess, I felt great having her spending about several hours talking with me. She shared what life has become, her experiences - on love and school and friendship, she shared advices, smiles and laughs. We also shared photos and (oh man!) i was amazed with how she has become as a woman. I mean physically. she bloomed so good. she's so charming and pretty and alluring (even though she's small, hehe sorry "witch" just strike the heart of the voodoo doll if you want me killed here..) - she's interesting to be specific.

I often wished for a life rewind coz of so many things i want to change in my childhood and adolescent life. But anyway, openly talking with my high school friends has always been a good source of relief from my freaking embarassments, insanity and absurdity back then. They tacitly remind me of how God sews lives to make it more colorful, strong, decent and beautiful.

I hope i can have a chance to talk to more of my classmates in high school. Even just in YM and even up until dawn.

thank God for this girl friend. I wish i can hug her tight when we meet. (can i witch?)

G A M A

(a memory of a place)

written by my father...

Running my fingers through your hair
And tipping your brow.
I only hear the river murmurs,
The parallel of waters cascading
Rhymes with the throbbing beat
Of this sobbing heart
Though silent as it was lonesome
Birds sing a melody unrehearsed
To a drifting leaf, dancing
And receding upon my sight
Foretelling the coming of fall
On early summer.
Should I call this day mine?
The hills, the proud breasts of Kanlaon
I quivered of your avowal.
Should I say, I love you,
And be released?
What arrow doesn't point their poison of mercy
And forks at me.
This incidental get away
Of February's last heat
And days that recedes
Perhaps in parody of pursuit
For long-gone yesterdays
Days when I was young
The last nerve gasp for guts
I am beyond my written ode,
I am beyond the lamentations
Of somnambulistic
Sleepless nights.

- Feb. 28, 1981