When is it love?

As what i promised danica, I posted this entry as endearment to her previous entry on love. Love is a very powerful human emotion that is hard to define. It can make a person undergo various emotions - happy, sad, elated, depressed, lonely, lively, frustrated, etc. depending on the situation and circumstance around a person.

Find out and assess yourself if you have experienced how it is to love and to be loved.

SIGNS OF LOVE

Abiding sense of comradeship - there is a spirit of mutual thoughtfulness, an eagerness to understand each other. Sweethearts and pals. They enjoy being together. When they are absent from each other, each is in the background of the other's thoughts.

Feeling that life has been lifted to a higher level - they inspire each other to new hopes, new virtues, honor and loyalty, all of these providing them stability.

Putting sexual feelings in perspective - ordinarily, there is a stirring of sexual desires. This is not uncleanness. The reactions will be curbed, to control, to manage this desire. Love curbs the crude and selfish.

Confidence and trust - two person in love learn they can count on each one at all times.

SIGNS OF INFATUATION

It is stubborn and refuses to reason - "It is my free choice. No one is going to tell me."

It is unrealistic - "If our relationship works out, it will enable me to do everything."

It is sentimental - "I can't live without you."

It is a very jealous affection - The desire to be loved is more prominent than the desire to love.

The partners treat each other like spoiled children.

The feelings is overwhelming - The person just finds himself "falling in love."

Physical attraction based on looks - No similarities in upbringing, education, religion, race and even economic levels.

Believes in "love at first sight" and "love is blind".

TESTING THE GENUINENESS OF LOVE

Presence test - Are you comfortable with the one you love? Are you proud to be seen with the other person?

Physical test - Would you love the other person just as much if there should be a handicap or disfigured body?

Sharing test - Can you confide in the other person freely with complete confidence?

Strength test - Do you become more creative, accomplish more and respond to new experiences because of the love for the other person?

Respect test - Do you have confidence in the judgment of the other person? Do you respect the general mental abilities of the other person?

Habit test - Can you accept the other person with irritating habits and faults?

Quarrel test - Can you talk over disagreements and reach an understanding?

Time test - Has time proven that the love is based on more than emotions or attractions?

Space test - Has your love stood the tet of being seperated for a while?

Communication test - Are you able to listen to the other person's viewpoint and try to understand?

Romance test - Can you detect the spirit which will guarantee a continuing romance after marriage?

Responsibility test - is there a reason to believe the other person will accept responsibility that accompanies marriage?

*From the research of Mr. Leonilo M. Niere, there are clear signs of love.

Mishmash romance

Maka-ilang gabi na rin na hindi ako madaling makatulog. When I lay down at 11, i can't doze off until 1 or 2 in the morning. Ewan ko ba kung bakit tensyonado ako, dami kong iniisip. Napapabangon na lang ako gabi-gabi dahil sa ginugutom na ko. Ta's nanonood nalang ng tv o dvd o kaya magbasa para lang antukin.

By the way, salamat sa lahat ng nag visit sa blog ko and i am really be thankful to those blogger friends who faithfully leave comments. I was nominated pala for the "Filipino Blog of Week 63" in talksmart's page. Perhaps, you could vote for me there though it's just for enjoyment. lol

Well anyway when i was reading, I came across some funny statements in Joshua Harris' book 'Boy Meets Girl', a book on courtship. In one chapter, the author describes a so-called "mishmash" romance where couples are impatient to savor each "course of meal" - acquaintance, friendship, courtship, engagement and marriage. They want to do all things hastily.

Try to imagine a soup, drink, salad and entree. If you won't relish each course, you won't enjoy the pleasure in every bite.

That is how Harris illustrates the kind of relatinship these days. Instead of taking time and enjoying each romantic moment gradually grow into a beautiful relationship, the couple mash the sequence together. They plunge into the relationship by falling head-over-heels in love without building a strong foundation. Even before they can establish a commitment, they already presumed they own each other. It's a mishmash romance which is like an unpalatable food, said Harris.

I don't know if i can follow this later. lol Well, i hope i could.

How's your love life pala?

My First Crush and our Billet-doux Writing History

If there would be few living homo sapiens in this dark world who surely had a great impact in my borrowed wonderful, colorful and beautiful life, one would be the girl who was my super-duper sumnambulistic crush back when we were still in Grade I. lol

My mother often made me remember what i told her when i got home one afternoon from school. She said that i was really persistent that the girl with the smooth fair cheeks, with pretty lips and a cute nose and nice straight hair was my crush and that i really insisted much more when she was telling me i just like her. "Yes nay, i like her, that means, she's my crush. ok? peace!" lol

Well, that girl i often call "'day" is artistic in nature, smart, can attract all honeybees with her sweetness and knows the best friendship strategies...well, except for one girl during elementary years. hehe i don't know what happened between them that time but i observed "'day" was really srewed with that white and tall lassie. I even witnessed and heard her backbite the "chinita" miss.

But, anyway, they're in good terms now. i don't think " 'day " would foster a warfreak personality get up. No. Not in trillion years.:)

Still, we were classmates reaching Grade IV and there started (as far as i can remember) one of the most phenomenal events that ever happened in my 20 years of living this life - EXCHANGING OF puppy, romantic, kept-to-the-limit LOVE LETTERS using a state of the art and priceless medium of delivery - her close friends, Vic-vic and later turned out to be Divine when we reached the last level in primary school.

" 'day " started this and there i learned i was also her crush. hahaha oh man!

I seemed really deeply, truly and madly (childishly) "in-love" reading her letters. It always made me wear big, wide smiles walking homebound. Only weird thing is, we didn't talk in person, we avoided each other. lol

Man! Funny those emotions of one elementary school cherub. lol

The top-secret personal events of my unintended innocence back then are still fresh as i recall the times when I was really excited to receive another letter from her and that i can respond again. While we got loads of assignments every night , my love letter writing delights always buzz in and that gave me all the urges to finish my response first before my homeworks. But honestly, i often ignored my assignments and just focus on the love letters. lol And hey, it wasn't that easy at all. I was at a loss of words with " 'day's " cool writing prowess and her choice of words and her conjugation of it (though in early age). Besides, indeed, i found it hard hiding myself in the room while i was writing my replies in a piece of note pad torn from my spring lecture notebook (i didn't have nicely textured fragrant paper pads for love letters that time.hehe)while i was doing my very best to keep it in wide book pages and be vigilant because if somebody would enter the room, i got to be alert to turn the pages of the book, covering what i was writing, and pretend i was reading. whew! i admit, i was sweating then. lol

These only ended when we were already in 1st or 2nd year high, i guess. It was my birthday and she gave me another letter (through a friend, still). This time, its not like the usual as a nice peace of paper oftenly folded they call "i love you" fold. It was wrapped, rectangular. I opened it at home and it was stunning, made me shake! lol It was the biggest love letter i have have ever received! It was the size of a Transcor Motors wall calendar. She wrote all her favorite songs and dedicated it to me. (romantic, isn't it? lol)

Bad thing, i never replied. I thought she was really questioning then. (sorry day...lol)

Later during high school i was thankful the puerile "avoiding game" ended and we enjoyed each other's company till high school grad - not as having a crush with each other but as friends. and she just became one of the best buds God gave. her influence, her friendship, her sweetness, her compassion, her love and her fear in God - all packed in one lovely lad. Thank God for her. Even though we were not in the same school in college. I can always recall the things she told me and the precious time we shared.

And the sad part of everything? she told me one day that her letters were stolen from her cabinet and all are gone. But i don't know if she already knew that her letters were also stolen from my cabinet too. Not with a homo sapien but with the darn termites! and all are gone.

Anyway, " 'day " (a nursing graduate at this time) and I just laugh over it everytime we talk about that billet-doux history.