Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Epiphany (retold)

29-march-2007 18:52:42 I was on line checkin my profiles. I skimmed at motivateus.com and i came across a quote from Rocky Balboa, a world renown boxer, "it's not how you got hit but how you move on after getting hit." it made me recall my four years of struggle as a student of La Carlota City College. I was a student leader. Thus, I experienced being criticized, challenged and HIT in a sense, mind me, some did it on my face when i was in front of the population hosting the students' night. embarassing but got nothing to do but to just continue on my task.

lately, i received a text message. it was from a special person with whom friendship took a back seat for a few months. I plead guilty thinking it was my fault. The message read, "the ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. - Martin Luther.. congratz for being 1 of the ultimate men in the world. Ppol judge u by your actions but not your intentions. God knows your heart..hope we can restore the lost friendship."

I was struck with the word "LOST". how rude would i be if id just piss that friendship to the stinky pits.. so i replied saying it wasn't lost, just taking a nap. i thanked her for the quote from luther though i can't accept i am an ultimate man. am i?

20:11:29 I received her reply, "Thanks, likwise..im sorry coz nag attempt man q nga mag join sa ila, but honestly gin konxenxa gid ko coz indi q gid mahimo for a friend like you. na carried away lang gid ko. m sorry." obviously, it was a confession...what was she saying?
It was about the happenings during my final college days. I made many of my friends' and batch's hackles rise. One childhood pal told me in the lobby. "damo ga kontra sa imo noh?!" I didn't mind not knowing the exact reason because nobody told me so. was it because of my proposals? - well, they found it good and they approved it, what's makin them get the hell out of me..was it because of my projects? - hey, its for the school and our batch... or was it because of my distinctions? - m sorry but i worked for it...

These gave enigmas and made me darn confused, depressed, pissed!! but one thing i know is true. They were red hot mad at me.
i had the pre-graduation "what the hecks." i was down with flu due to sleeping late on seniors' retreats (i can't let it pass coz i need to take pictures for the yearbook), I missed our seniors' tea and our first commencement practice because of a rushed project. Skipped meals and went home late because of a photo packaging and finished just a few minutes before the processional march on ur graduation day. plus the freakin spices of some people who hated me at the start of the seniors' week. or maybe since first year. or i suppose, ever since high school days. what duh!! i can't please everyone, i know.. so i just let them grrrrr at me more..

But, gratefully, i surpassed. all was between me and my God who provided ever loyal and supportive friends who gave me strength and encouragement. I am nothing without them.
I never imagined my last year in the college to be that contentious. you may not really understand what had happened but it was very challenging on my part. how the pressure, mental and emotional tension honed me. i survived and its all worth it. am i brave? No. I am just a coward wanting to prove my worth.

It came to me in an epiphany that indeed, it was a great hanging experience. worth remembering until the very end of this borrowed life. it created antagonists. but i don't mean i hate them. i am a Christian in and out of the church, hence, i still have to abide in my Father's rule to love my enemy...above and beyond, these circumstances, events and these people didn't discourage me but challenged me. I was never affected with how they treated me. I told myself, I will hit them back when, finally, I will find my lost tear drop in the pacific vastness.

on the other side of the coin, it created true friends. and i thank all of them a lot.

now, il just continue doing my best while they are doing their worst..

that makes man ultimate..

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